First Fiction

With a little inspiration from some of those reading my Free Write Friday post, I thought of trying to write a little fiction to see how it felt. I don’t consider myself a poet, let alone a writer, but sometimes the words have to flow. Hope to get some feedback…

He had driven up for a few days away, so many thoughts clouding his mind. It was but a very simple and rustic cabin off the beaten path. He smiled as he remembered when he first brought her there, wondering if he would be taking her right back to the city. He had purchased it originally as a man-cave to get away, but always enjoyed the quiet serenity it offered.

As he swept the broom over the planks of the floor, he went back to that first weekend. Tentative words as they began to learn more about each other. They had only been dating a few weeks, yet there was something about her that made such a connection. They laughed so often as they caught themselves finishing the others sentences. The way she could melt him with that laugh, the light in her eyes as she tossed her hair. It was hard to imagine even early on that they hadn’t known each other for years.

The visits to the cabin had become more frequent. There was a small stream at the back of the property and the fish seemed to love the place as much as they did. It never took long to supply enough for a simple meal. Oh, those were the times that pulled at his heart now. The memories of a blanket spread in that clearing among the trees. It didn’t seem to matter whether it was the rustling of the leaves in the breeze or staring at that stars so bright, they could lay there for hours hand in hand and time seemed to move ever so slowly.

But that was before she got sick, before the entire meaning of life seemed to shift. The cabin collected dust while they sought any hope that would take this eventuality from them.

Ok, so a few words falling to a page…. Let me know what you think.

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About graypoet

Just one that at times puts the words to the page and lets them fall as they might.
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6 Responses to First Fiction

  1. John Northcutt Young says:

    You’ve got the start of something good—keep going.

  2. kellieelmore says:

    I agree with John… you have a magnificent start to what could be a wonderful story! I wanted to keep reading! You have the imagery mastered, placing the reader into the moment… that’s the key to storytelling and you have done so well!!! I think you are a talented writer and I always enjoy reading your work. So pleased that this weeks FWF could entice you to try something different and I do hope it will continue to inspire your pen in the future! Now… finish this story… we are all waiting =) ♥

  3. Phyllis Sears says:

    i’VE ALWAYS KNOW HOW TALENTED YOU ARE; THIS IS GREAT AND CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT PART.

  4. kellieelmore says:

    Hi! Thanks for emailing me! Here is the link, I too had a bit of trouble with my computer this morning. Hope to have you join us! ♥ Here is the missing link:
    http://kellieelmore.com/2012/08/03/the-street-i-grew-up-on/

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